Sometimes I just want to push the pause button on life.
Have a breather, go to the bathroom, make some popcorn and then come back and push play.
Have a breather, go to the bathroom, make some popcorn and then come back and push play.
Wednesday, June 25, 2014
Friday, May 9, 2014
Grandma
I don't know why we didn't know my grandmothers names but growing up we called them Grandma George or Grandma Archie. Only now do I wonder how this came about. How did we start calling them by their husbands names? How odd this seems to me now.
Thinking about it I don't remember calling Grandpa George, grandpa George. I grew up with only one living grandpa, so did my parents tell us as kids Grandpa George to help us remember.
Both sets of grandparents lived on a farm, which growing up we referred equally as going to the farm. Grandma George's was the favourite to go to. This was for many reasons one was my grandfather. He had a kind manner with good hugs. All the grandkids wanted to have time with this kind but gruff old farmer.
Then there was Grandma George, who would no doubt be making or just made homemade bread. We would hope she was just making it...though now thinking back I have a feeling she may have put a portion of dough aside for us. If she was making bread we would get a portion to make into dough people, and most likely to eat half of it prior to it being baked. I remember that feeling of your stomache as the unbaked bread expanded inside.
After saying hello we would likely be ushered outside to play with the cousins. The fields were a childs treasure trove. Old farm equipment, that now looks to be torture devices, were our jungle gym. We had the crows nest which I believe was some sort of harvester was one of my favourites. I could get in and out of the grain shute without the worry of being stuck like on some of the others.
There were two things that could only be played on with multiple grandkids. These were the culvert and the "teeter-totter".
With the culvert we would get 6 to 8 of us to rock it slowly and until we could acted like hamsters skirting around the paddock. I remember getting rust bits mixed with dried manure all over me and by the end in my eyes yet it was something we wanted to do.
The teeter-totter would connect to the back of a tractor but didn't rest with the front on the ground like the other pull-alongs. This would allow three or so of us (no more could fit without falling off) to run back and forth on it to create the teeter-totter.
Thinking about it I don't remember calling Grandpa George, grandpa George. I grew up with only one living grandpa, so did my parents tell us as kids Grandpa George to help us remember.
Both sets of grandparents lived on a farm, which growing up we referred equally as going to the farm. Grandma George's was the favourite to go to. This was for many reasons one was my grandfather. He had a kind manner with good hugs. All the grandkids wanted to have time with this kind but gruff old farmer.
Then there was Grandma George, who would no doubt be making or just made homemade bread. We would hope she was just making it...though now thinking back I have a feeling she may have put a portion of dough aside for us. If she was making bread we would get a portion to make into dough people, and most likely to eat half of it prior to it being baked. I remember that feeling of your stomache as the unbaked bread expanded inside.
After saying hello we would likely be ushered outside to play with the cousins. The fields were a childs treasure trove. Old farm equipment, that now looks to be torture devices, were our jungle gym. We had the crows nest which I believe was some sort of harvester was one of my favourites. I could get in and out of the grain shute without the worry of being stuck like on some of the others.
There were two things that could only be played on with multiple grandkids. These were the culvert and the "teeter-totter".
With the culvert we would get 6 to 8 of us to rock it slowly and until we could acted like hamsters skirting around the paddock. I remember getting rust bits mixed with dried manure all over me and by the end in my eyes yet it was something we wanted to do.
The teeter-totter would connect to the back of a tractor but didn't rest with the front on the ground like the other pull-alongs. This would allow three or so of us (no more could fit without falling off) to run back and forth on it to create the teeter-totter.
Friday, May 2, 2014
feeling
That feeling that breathes into your mouth, when a song comes on. A song that takes you for a ride, spins you so fast you get dizzy, and then dips you just for fun. I love that feeling.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Letting yourself down
I was suppose to be singing tonight.
What I realised is that I am not over my fear yet. I went out for drinks with friends for my birthday prior to heading to sing with a new friend. My friends tried to get me to sing prior to going to sing. That's when I froze, that's when the fear really sunk in. On the 15 minute ride home the tiny speck of fear warped into a full on terror.
How could I possibly sing now?! I probably could have overcome this if it wasn't for the fact that I had to drive my manual car, in the dark, to my friends house!!! Nope, sorry that is in the too hard basket. For those of you that don't know I am not good at driving a manual car. I bought it because I have a goal to be able to drive one. Needless to say I am getting much better but it is still a stressful proposition.
So I let myself down. But that is how life works. I have to write these last two sentences because this is a new realisation for me.
My life is so interesting now because I am a pushover at work. Or that is how people see me. This is soo against the way I see myself and the way that I have been in the past but I think with all this personal growth I have tired of fighting. I have grown weary of having to punch through everything. I don't want to spend my precious energy fighting anymore. It's hard not to feel disappointed in myself, but at the same time I don't want to fight for things that don't matter anymore.
What I realised is that I am not over my fear yet. I went out for drinks with friends for my birthday prior to heading to sing with a new friend. My friends tried to get me to sing prior to going to sing. That's when I froze, that's when the fear really sunk in. On the 15 minute ride home the tiny speck of fear warped into a full on terror.
How could I possibly sing now?! I probably could have overcome this if it wasn't for the fact that I had to drive my manual car, in the dark, to my friends house!!! Nope, sorry that is in the too hard basket. For those of you that don't know I am not good at driving a manual car. I bought it because I have a goal to be able to drive one. Needless to say I am getting much better but it is still a stressful proposition.
So I let myself down. But that is how life works. I have to write these last two sentences because this is a new realisation for me.
My life is so interesting now because I am a pushover at work. Or that is how people see me. This is soo against the way I see myself and the way that I have been in the past but I think with all this personal growth I have tired of fighting. I have grown weary of having to punch through everything. I don't want to spend my precious energy fighting anymore. It's hard not to feel disappointed in myself, but at the same time I don't want to fight for things that don't matter anymore.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
A new theme
Once again I am back on a mission. This time it is to discover and rediscover things I like to do. The problem with meeting all of my big goals in life so far is that I need to create new goals.
I have always had a giant list of items I have wanted to do and am working towards and suddenly I have found myself at a loss. I had accomplished the big things I had on my list. I was in a new country, with a job and a "new" life but I was missing the goals to push towards.
This being the case I have decided to jump into things I have always wanted to get better at but never took the time to do. One of these is writing...hence posting again. Now is when this blog is going to get interesting. At this stage my only goal is to write most days (not all of it needs to be on the blog). The content does not matter, nor does the spelling or grammer. As this is the goal I have a feeling that you will get a preview into what occurs in my brian. Which is not organised nor linear.
The mini-goal is to post at least once a week (my goal is to write at least a sentence a day outside of work).
This should be fun.
Other crafts/skills I have started to dust off or begin are singing, pottery and playing the saxophone. I feel this creative force that has been laying dormant starting to wake. Like an old lumbering dog it slowing stands and stretches. I can't wait until it starts to bounce around and wag it's tail.
With singing I've realised that I have so much potential I wasn't aware of. Not necessarily my skill at singing but just that I can sing. It made me realise that there are so many things out there that I have placed a self imposed barrier on.
I'm on the search for my next big and small goals. It's really interesting because I'm really trying to identify the person I want to be now instead of looking at external goals. Internal goals are much more touchy and hard to identify. It's easy to point and say your goal is to be a nicer person....but what does that mean? Is it to never say a mean thing? Is it something more attainable like saying Good Morning to every coworker at the beginning of the day? Is it not kicking puppies? (Note: I don't actually kick puppies). So how will I accomplish these impossible tasks? I don't know how about you come back and see.
I have always had a giant list of items I have wanted to do and am working towards and suddenly I have found myself at a loss. I had accomplished the big things I had on my list. I was in a new country, with a job and a "new" life but I was missing the goals to push towards.
This being the case I have decided to jump into things I have always wanted to get better at but never took the time to do. One of these is writing...hence posting again. Now is when this blog is going to get interesting. At this stage my only goal is to write most days (not all of it needs to be on the blog). The content does not matter, nor does the spelling or grammer. As this is the goal I have a feeling that you will get a preview into what occurs in my brian. Which is not organised nor linear.
The mini-goal is to post at least once a week (my goal is to write at least a sentence a day outside of work).
This should be fun.
Other crafts/skills I have started to dust off or begin are singing, pottery and playing the saxophone. I feel this creative force that has been laying dormant starting to wake. Like an old lumbering dog it slowing stands and stretches. I can't wait until it starts to bounce around and wag it's tail.
With singing I've realised that I have so much potential I wasn't aware of. Not necessarily my skill at singing but just that I can sing. It made me realise that there are so many things out there that I have placed a self imposed barrier on.
I'm on the search for my next big and small goals. It's really interesting because I'm really trying to identify the person I want to be now instead of looking at external goals. Internal goals are much more touchy and hard to identify. It's easy to point and say your goal is to be a nicer person....but what does that mean? Is it to never say a mean thing? Is it something more attainable like saying Good Morning to every coworker at the beginning of the day? Is it not kicking puppies? (Note: I don't actually kick puppies). So how will I accomplish these impossible tasks? I don't know how about you come back and see.
Sunday, December 8, 2013
A (almost) daily item to be grateful for
| 10/05/12 | I'm grateful for my own room! |
| 11/05/12 | I'm grateful for meeting new friends. |
| 12/05/12 | I'm grateful for books |
| 13/05/12 | I'm grateful for non-family family |
| 14/05/12 | I'm grateful for sunny days lounging on the sofa |
| 15/05/12 | I'm grateful for other people cooking dinner |
| 16/05/12 | I'm grateful for cuddles |
| 17/05/12 | I'm grateful for 0.7 mm...and no surgery |
| 18/05/12 | I'm grateful for friends who review CV's |
| 19/05/12 | I'm grateful for live rugby games |
| 20/05/12 | I'm grateful for bike polo |
| 21/05/12 | I'm grateful for calls back from recruitment agencies |
| 22/05/12 | I'm grateful for cats stealing socks and thinking they're sneaky |
| 23/05/12 | I'm grateful for free knitting needles |
| 24/05/12 | I'm grateful for kindle smartphone app |
| 25/05/12 | I'm grateful for cutting my own food |
| 26/05/12 | I'm grateful for indian grocery stores |
| 27/05/12 | I'm grateful for meeting people that remind you of your worth |
| 28/05/12 | I'm grateful for taking first steps |
| 29/05/12 | I'm grateful for making new friends |
| 30/05/12 | I'm grateful for warm blankets |
| 31/05/12 | I'm grateful for the first shower after getting my cast off |
| 01/06/12 | I'm grateful for getting rides home |
| 02/06/12 | I'm grateful for making new bike friends |
| 03/06/12 | I'm grateful for talking bikes for hours |
| 04/06/12 | I'm grateful for friends smiling at me |
| 05/06/12 | I'm grateful for physio's |
| 06/06/12 | I'm grateful for wood fires |
| 07/06/12 | I'm grateful for getting asked to interview for a job |
| 08/06/12 | I'm grateful for fireworks |
| 09/06/12 | I'm grateful for film festivals |
| 10/06/12 | I'm grateful for knitting |
| 11/06/12 | I'm grateful for soups in winter |
| 12/06/12 | I'm grateful for being in NZ |
| 13/06/12 | I'm grateful for being okayed to bike again |
| 14/06/12 | I'm grateful for having more than one interview lined up |
| 15/06/12 | I'm grateful for dinner w the ladies |
| 16/06/12 | I'm grateful for not falling on my arm when I fell |
| 17/06/12 | I'm grateful for finishing a knitting project |
| 18/06/12 | I'm grateful for my dad |
| 19/06/12 | I'm grateful for chocolate |
| 20/06/12 | I'm grateful for meals w friends |
| 21/06/12 | I'm grateful for new opportunities |
| 22/06/12 | I'm grateful for interesting companies |
| 23/06/12 | I'm grateful for audiobooks |
| 24/06/12 | I'm grateful for continuing new routines |
| 25/06/12 | I'm grateful for coffee with friends |
| 26/06/12 | I'm grateful for hope |
| 27/06/12 | I'm grateful for playing with a cat |
| 28/06/12 | I'm grateful for talking to old friends |
| 29/06/12 | I'm grateful for sunny days |
| 30/06/12 | I'm grateful for naps |
| 01/07/12 | I'm grateful for ear muffs |
| 02/07/12 | I'm grateful for having two job offers |
| 03/07/12 | I'm grateful for signing an employment contract |
| 04/07/12 | I'm grateful for fourth of july celebration |
| 05/07/12 | I'm grateful for catching up with old friends |
| 06/07/12 | I'm grateful for buying new shoes |
| 07/07/12 | I'm grateful for bars w good beer |
| 08/07/12 | I'm grateful for lazy days watching movies |
| 09/07/12 | I'm grateful for mini golf |
| 10/07/12 | I'm grateful for coming back to my own bed |
| 11/07/12 | I'm grateful for new jobs |
| 12/07/12 | I'm grateful for drinks w new friends |
| 13/07/12 | I'm grateful for drinking a beer at lunch at work |
| 14/07/12 | I'm grateful for bar platters |
| 15/07/12 | I'm grateful for my own polo bike |
| 16/07/12 | I'm grateful for workshops going smoothly |
| 17/07/12 | I'm grateful for getting a work phone |
| 18/07/12 | I'm grateful for walks around the block |
| 19/07/12 | I'm grateful for using my brain |
| 20/07/12 | I'm grateful for knackering myself out via bike polo |
| 21/07/12 | I'm grateful for unexpected kisses |
| 22/07/12 | I'm grateful for baking cookies |
| 23/07/12 | I'm grateful for buying a book |
| 24/07/12 | I'm grateful for dogs coming to the office |
| 25/07/12 | I'm grateful for dirt cake |
| 26/07/12 | I'm grateful for running partners |
| 27/07/12 | I'm grateful for having something click |
| 28/07/12 | I'm grateful for red wine w a girlfriend |
| 29/07/12 | I'm grateful for chatting about blueberry picking |
| 30/07/12 | I'm grateful for coffee |
| 31/07/12 | I'm grateful for pushing into a headwind |
| 01/08/12 | I'm grateful for temps |
| 02/08/12 | I'm grateful for winning poker |
| 03/08/12 | I'm grateful for platters of food |
| 04/08/12 | I'm grateful for fat kid days |
| 05/08/12 | I'm grateful for cooking all day |
| 06/08/12 | I'm grateful for slowly getting up to speed |
| 07/08/12 | I'm grateful for smiles |
| 08/08/12 | I'm grateful for personal development |
| 09/08/12 | I'm grateful for live music |
| 10/08/12 | I'm grateful for being comfortable at someones home |
| 11/08/12 | I'm grateful for beautiful eyes |
| 12/08/12 | I'm grateful for staying up late with friends |
| 13/08/12 | I'm grateful for friends reaching milestones in being cancer free |
| 14/08/12 | I'm grateful for exciting new job opportunities |
| 15/08/12 | I'm grateful for peppermint slices |
| 16/08/12 | I'm grateful for getting stuff done 21/9 weekends w the ladies 22/9 walks in the sun 23/9 pictures at the hot pools 24/9 denial 25/9 surprise interviews 26/9 pub quiz 27/9 new job offers 28/9 quitting jobs 29/9 reading while petting the cat 30/9 feeling free 1/10 not having to go to work 2/10 relaxation 3/10 cooking 4/10 getting defense in polo 5/10 mtbing 6/10 girls lunch 7/10 laying in the sun 8/10 new jobs 9/10 going to the movies 10/10 a man i cant keep my hands off 11/10 green on green on green bikes 12/10 spring weather 13/10 baking on a rainy day 14/10 sunday polo 15/10 biking to work 16/10 movie nights in 17/10 ladies dinners 18/10 new bars 19/10 seeing the stars at lake tekapo 20/12 lazy mornings 19/12 bike pub crawl 18/12 not getting rained on while biking to work 17/12 16/12 picnic in the garden 15/12 first ride on new bike 14/12 pizza and polo 13/12 12/12 21/12 the world not ending 22/12 straight guy friends in dresses 23/12 rediscovering old bikes (mabel) 24/12 talking w family 25/12 gingerdead men 26/12 nice hotela that let u camp for free 27/12 friends getting attacked by eels (w no injuries) 28/12 waking up near a river in a beautiful place 29/12 dresses 30/12 geeky conversations 31/12 standing in line for ice cream at new years 01/01/13 mason lodges as homes 02/01 custard squares 03/01 mayfield thrift shop 04/01 getting home 05/01 having feelings 06/01 libraries 07/01 music in parks 08/01 speaking to brothers 09/01 cooking naan bread 10/01 midweek polo 11/01 sunny lunches 12/01 baking sprees 13/01 watching bike races 14/01 vege sloppy joes 15/01 16/01 17/01 germans arriving 18/01 busker fest 19/01 sleeping in shade w the cat 20/01 shopping 21/01 seeing friends 22/01 23/01 music at lunch 24/01 knitting stripes 25/01getting drunken at a new pub 26/01shooting clay pigeons 27/01saving goals 28/01 dinner w good conversations 29/01 one step forward 30/01 31/01 01/02 - wearing purple pants to work 02/02 - crafting outside on a beautiful day 03/02 - driving a manual and not crashing 04/02 - nice warm rain to bike home in 05/02 days prior to holidays 06/02 deconstruting clothes 07/02 almost being done with a project you dont like 08/02 my coworkers 09/02 picnics in the sun 10/02 seeing new travellers and the excitement they have 11/02 12/02 13/02 14/02 15/02 giant mallet handles 16/02 andrew keegan concert 17/02 finding an asian vegetable i didnt know the name of prior 18/02 going caving w coworkers 19/02 riding a bike i havent in a while 20/02 seeing a newly built bike 21/02 finishing projects 22/02 trying new foods at morning tea 23/02 beer festivals 24/02 fresh corn on the cob 25/02 moose topiaries 26/02 movement on my visa 27/02 28/02 fridays 01/03 someone cutting me off and then saying sorry 02/03 finishing a craft project 03/03 having a completely clean room 04/03 see lorna 05/03 see rox and tom 06/03 epic sight seeing 07/03 being able to get out of garages through through doors because of beingon bikes 08/03 bike pub crawls 09/03 patient people 10/03 flower shows 11/03 having a dinner party at my place 12/03 having friends do favors 13/03 random polo people 14/03 15/03 half day Friday 16/03 polo tourny 17/03 watching bike polo 18/03 verifing im sick and going home to sleep 19/03 being able to eat solid foods 20/03 cooking up a storm 21/03 sunny lunch breaks 22/03 handing in passports for residency visa 23/03 shopping 24/03 wearing new clothes 25/03 shirts that make me giggle 26/03 baking using items from my tree 27/03 getting my residency 28/03 afternoon meetings being canceled prior to a holiday 29/03 beautiful days 30/03 finding interesting new websites 31/03 picnics w friends 01/04 many small pizzas 02/04 talking to Mikenna 03/04 having acquaintance's 04/04 surprise birthday breakfast on not my birthday 05/04 concerts 06/04 dinners and drinks 07/04 lunch and catching up 08/04 productive days 09/04 finalising plans 10/04 11/04 walking for lunch 12/04 coffee 13/04 going out for dinner 14/04 seeing kites flying 15/04 presents 16/04 17/04 18/04 confusion 19/04 drinking 20/04 rugby w the girls 21/04 having friends stop by 22/04 finishing books 23/04 friends who will listen to me bitch 24/04 remembering to breath 25/04 bird themes 26/04 feeding out 27/04 cupcakes and Champagne 28/04 birthday wishes |
Monday, May 27, 2013
General Update
Realised I haven't posted for awhile. Partly because I am no longer travelling I feel like people will not be that interested but will give an update anyway.
Still living in Christchurch where I am slowly getting my feet under me. I forgot how much effort it takes to when you move to a new place to get involved. Luckily I have some good friends who are keen for new experiences and bring me along for the fun. This month has been quite busy starting a pilates class, sewing class and finding out about the local Rotary Club to see if I want to be a member of that. Work people also have organised a weekly climbing night so have something on most nights.
Also, looking at welding courses so I can start making custom bike frames. Darryl is starting to make one soon for one of the polo guys and I know as soon as he starts I'm going to be super jealous and want to make one as well. But the course will have to wait until I'm back from the USA as pretty busy prior to that.
I also am helping to organise a bike polo tournament. This is quite a lot of effort along with the other items and planning my trip home in July. Though I like being busy and it reminds me of how I used to be.
We've been really lucky and had some great people come and stay with us over the past months. This is always nice as it's good to share our home and the guest have been a range of new to old friends. The most recent visitors have been travelling for 6 months so they were quite happy to be able to bake and have a kitchen which we got all the benefit from (yummy yummy food). Excited to have 3 more coming over the weekend.
Still enjoying having a home and one place to stay. Though I'm looking forward to to going home and getting some travelling in when I'm back.
Still living in Christchurch where I am slowly getting my feet under me. I forgot how much effort it takes to when you move to a new place to get involved. Luckily I have some good friends who are keen for new experiences and bring me along for the fun. This month has been quite busy starting a pilates class, sewing class and finding out about the local Rotary Club to see if I want to be a member of that. Work people also have organised a weekly climbing night so have something on most nights.
Also, looking at welding courses so I can start making custom bike frames. Darryl is starting to make one soon for one of the polo guys and I know as soon as he starts I'm going to be super jealous and want to make one as well. But the course will have to wait until I'm back from the USA as pretty busy prior to that.
I also am helping to organise a bike polo tournament. This is quite a lot of effort along with the other items and planning my trip home in July. Though I like being busy and it reminds me of how I used to be.
We've been really lucky and had some great people come and stay with us over the past months. This is always nice as it's good to share our home and the guest have been a range of new to old friends. The most recent visitors have been travelling for 6 months so they were quite happy to be able to bake and have a kitchen which we got all the benefit from (yummy yummy food). Excited to have 3 more coming over the weekend.
Still enjoying having a home and one place to stay. Though I'm looking forward to to going home and getting some travelling in when I'm back.
Monday, January 21, 2013
Fear lives in it's parents basement
Do you ever wonder why instead of doing things you just sit and look out at things? Normally it's fear. Fear tells you that you shouldn't do something...that you'll make a fool of yourself, hurt yourself, lose money, etc. But fear is lame. Fear has lived in it's parent's basement for the last 2 million years. Fear has no friends and is never invited to parties. So let fear sit alone...you don't want to keep it company.
Just jump.
Just jump.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Insight
I had a very interesting first job experience in New Zealand. I went against my instincts and took employment with a company that sounded like it had a great cultural environment. Even though I had that little feeling that said things were amiss I accepted the role. I took the amiss feeling to be because people were under time constraints.
Only later would I see the mistake. By that time it was too late. I was entrenched in an psychologically abusive relationship....but it was not in a personal relationship. It was at work. I just managed to disentangle myself from the situation and I am grateful.
This experience has taught me many, many things. The first being a deep sorrow for people in abusive relationships, especially if they are emotional/verbal. As in this type of relationship you feel like you are making a big deal out of nothing and start to question your sanity and self worth without the evidence of bruises. I literally felt some days that I must be in an experiment because there was no way that these things could happen in real life.
My boss would chip away at people everyday. Using different methods of control. The interesting thing was that he was causing us not to be productive at work but didn't have the confidence to let us work on our own. He used techniques of intimidation, manipulation, degradation, isolation, humiliation and others to keep us under his control.
I was lucky that I am single with a knack for saving which would have allowed me to quit when I wanted except that I didn't have any contacts and would have been slandered if I would have left prior to finding a new job.
I know some of you may say "All bosses are bad" but the following quote was something he said to the office one morning "Last night I had a dream that I was stabbing someone......and I REALLY liked it". Intimidated anyone? NUTTER!
On top of items such as the above statement, there were thousands of little things he did which were meant to slowly break a person. From attacking the things people loved, to dismissing ideas without reason, to creating conflicts, to degrading people in front of others, to only asking for feedback in open forums so he never received negative feedback....and the list goes on. These are not acceptable behaviors.
I hope that none of you find yourself in a situation like this but if you do, have strength! It is difficult but you can do it...you can get away and be happy again. IT IS POSSIBLE!
I've shared this because after living through it I believe there are a lot of people out there that are stuck in a situation and can not free themselves...or worse do not see that it is not them, but the other person who is wrong.
Only later would I see the mistake. By that time it was too late. I was entrenched in an psychologically abusive relationship....but it was not in a personal relationship. It was at work. I just managed to disentangle myself from the situation and I am grateful.
This experience has taught me many, many things. The first being a deep sorrow for people in abusive relationships, especially if they are emotional/verbal. As in this type of relationship you feel like you are making a big deal out of nothing and start to question your sanity and self worth without the evidence of bruises. I literally felt some days that I must be in an experiment because there was no way that these things could happen in real life.
My boss would chip away at people everyday. Using different methods of control. The interesting thing was that he was causing us not to be productive at work but didn't have the confidence to let us work on our own. He used techniques of intimidation, manipulation, degradation, isolation, humiliation and others to keep us under his control.
I was lucky that I am single with a knack for saving which would have allowed me to quit when I wanted except that I didn't have any contacts and would have been slandered if I would have left prior to finding a new job.
I know some of you may say "All bosses are bad" but the following quote was something he said to the office one morning "Last night I had a dream that I was stabbing someone......and I REALLY liked it". Intimidated anyone? NUTTER!
On top of items such as the above statement, there were thousands of little things he did which were meant to slowly break a person. From attacking the things people loved, to dismissing ideas without reason, to creating conflicts, to degrading people in front of others, to only asking for feedback in open forums so he never received negative feedback....and the list goes on. These are not acceptable behaviors.
I hope that none of you find yourself in a situation like this but if you do, have strength! It is difficult but you can do it...you can get away and be happy again. IT IS POSSIBLE!
I've shared this because after living through it I believe there are a lot of people out there that are stuck in a situation and can not free themselves...or worse do not see that it is not them, but the other person who is wrong.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Things to think about
I've been trying to find how I became this person. This person who travels around the world (dare say in a recession). And I think I've finally started to put my finger on it.
It begins with me being a negative Nancy. Yes, I had a good job, great friends, and later an awesome boyfriend but the problem was I was no longer being true to myself. I was comfortable but not content. One of my life goals is to be happy....and while I enjoyed my life I had lost something. I no longer was striving for some unknown. The world started to become too small. I know that when I am comfortable I will stay in that place for a looonnnggg time, maybe forever if something or someone does not push me. Unknowningly I was begining to be complacent. I was happy with my life just the way it was...which would be fine other than the fact that I started to feel old.
For someone that was just past their mid 20's I should not feel old. I should not look at my life as though it was predestined. Now I'm not sure when I made a decision to do what I always had wanted to do but hadn't done but it happened. I wanted to live abroad for one year. Since I happened to have a good job I also wanted to spend that one year not working. This was crazy...living abroad and not working? Who was this person who had kidnapped the practical, responsible Carissa and what were her motives?!
The answer was easy...I was doing the things I had always been too scared to do. I saw all of these things as items I would do once I had been a productive adult and retired. Life showed me that I might not have the opportunity to retire. That maybe tomorrow would be my last day. Now I wouldn't be ashamed of my life but could I honestly say that I had lived life to the fullest? Could I say that I hadn't let fear stop me from doing what I loved? No, I wouldn't have been able to honestly say yes to those questions. So planning began and as planning began a little spark ignited. This spark said that because of the amount of money I could save I wouldn't be able to go without working. Solution? Cycle tour?! Yes, this was my process. I knew sometime in the future I would like to try cycle touring so why not make it a year long beginner tour?
And that is how I took that step from committed cyclist to crazy cycle tourist. Budget. I'm so glad that I was silly enough to decide that it would be a great thing to go cycle around a country on my own. Even with my accidents (or maybe because of them) I feel truly lucky that I have been able to accomplish some of my life goals. I would have never believed that I would have done the things I've done just 3 years ago. These goals were not even on my radar of options. Which reminded me that you are the only thing that limits what you can accomplish. I'm not saying things won't be difficult, frustrating, stressful, or scary but that they can be done.
I wish a younger version of me would have realized the things that I could complete. I've met some amazing people who are blessed to have realized this incredibly early in their lives and it makes me so happy to see. Also, incredibly jealous.
So think about that one thing you've always wanted to do. Be it reading 5000 books or swimming in the Artic and start the path towards it. Maybe it's making the list of books, or buying pictures of polar bears. Do that tiny first step in the right direction because you're not going to regret it.
It begins with me being a negative Nancy. Yes, I had a good job, great friends, and later an awesome boyfriend but the problem was I was no longer being true to myself. I was comfortable but not content. One of my life goals is to be happy....and while I enjoyed my life I had lost something. I no longer was striving for some unknown. The world started to become too small. I know that when I am comfortable I will stay in that place for a looonnnggg time, maybe forever if something or someone does not push me. Unknowningly I was begining to be complacent. I was happy with my life just the way it was...which would be fine other than the fact that I started to feel old.
For someone that was just past their mid 20's I should not feel old. I should not look at my life as though it was predestined. Now I'm not sure when I made a decision to do what I always had wanted to do but hadn't done but it happened. I wanted to live abroad for one year. Since I happened to have a good job I also wanted to spend that one year not working. This was crazy...living abroad and not working? Who was this person who had kidnapped the practical, responsible Carissa and what were her motives?!
The answer was easy...I was doing the things I had always been too scared to do. I saw all of these things as items I would do once I had been a productive adult and retired. Life showed me that I might not have the opportunity to retire. That maybe tomorrow would be my last day. Now I wouldn't be ashamed of my life but could I honestly say that I had lived life to the fullest? Could I say that I hadn't let fear stop me from doing what I loved? No, I wouldn't have been able to honestly say yes to those questions. So planning began and as planning began a little spark ignited. This spark said that because of the amount of money I could save I wouldn't be able to go without working. Solution? Cycle tour?! Yes, this was my process. I knew sometime in the future I would like to try cycle touring so why not make it a year long beginner tour?
And that is how I took that step from committed cyclist to crazy cycle tourist. Budget. I'm so glad that I was silly enough to decide that it would be a great thing to go cycle around a country on my own. Even with my accidents (or maybe because of them) I feel truly lucky that I have been able to accomplish some of my life goals. I would have never believed that I would have done the things I've done just 3 years ago. These goals were not even on my radar of options. Which reminded me that you are the only thing that limits what you can accomplish. I'm not saying things won't be difficult, frustrating, stressful, or scary but that they can be done.
I wish a younger version of me would have realized the things that I could complete. I've met some amazing people who are blessed to have realized this incredibly early in their lives and it makes me so happy to see. Also, incredibly jealous.
So think about that one thing you've always wanted to do. Be it reading 5000 books or swimming in the Artic and start the path towards it. Maybe it's making the list of books, or buying pictures of polar bears. Do that tiny first step in the right direction because you're not going to regret it.
Tuesday, June 26, 2012
Nehalem Bay to Seattle
June 7th, 2011 - Nehalem Bay to Ilwaco - 45 miles
Today started out from Nehalem bay into 20 miles of 4 hill climbs. The first bit was pretty but then the frustration of hills started to set in. Luckily the next 20 miles were quite flat. As I went through Warrenington and headed to the first long bridge of the day I caught a glimpse of the behemoth that I would be needing to go over. I started to laugh a nervous giggle as I had a good 2 miles or staring at this giant beast!
The Astoria bridge is a much talked about item on the Pacific Coast Highway tour among tourist. It is a four mile long bridge with no shoulder. There is extra fun for southbound riders as they stare at the steep incline at the end of the bridge for the whole ride. For northbound riders we begin with a steep incline. Since the last bridge was no fun and was less then half the length I decided to stop and have a coffee prior to proceeding. As I was looking for a coffee shop I made a last hail mary and stopped at the visitor center. It turned out there was a bus that would take me over the bridge and a couple of miles from my campsite for the night! Of course I had just missed the next bus by ten minutes so I had a couple of hours to wait for the next. I figured the $0.50 was worth the wait.
On entering the bus I was greeted by what obviously was the regular crowd of 10 or so people who all soon knew my story and did not hesitate to give advice. It is amazing how many people will offer advice to help ensure that I took the safest route and knew of hard places on the journey. This fact always delights me.
As it started to rain while setting up camp a lady running past by and stopped to chat. It turns out that she had cycle toured and offered me a place to stay for the night.
She had to go to work at 4:30 am as she worked as a fishery agent and had to inspect the offloading of the fishing boat. As it was I forgot my tent in her car and had to wait for her to return prior to heading off for the night. While we waited her boyfriend and I were chatting and I found out that they were driving through Seattle later in the day. Well I wasn't excited about the three days of raining that was expected so I asked if I could catch a ride.
We made it to Seattle where I was dropped off with Nate who had pizza and beer waiting. We spent most of the night catching up. It was great to be with family again.
She had to go to work at 4:30 am as she worked as a fishery agent and had to inspect the offloading of the fishing boat. As it was I forgot my tent in her car and had to wait for her to return prior to heading off for the night. While we waited her boyfriend and I were chatting and I found out that they were driving through Seattle later in the day. Well I wasn't excited about the three days of raining that was expected so I asked if I could catch a ride.
We made it to Seattle where I was dropped off with Nate who had pizza and beer waiting. We spent most of the night catching up. It was great to be with family again.
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Running? RUNNING???
30 x 30 update - 5 km continuous running
Why would I ever think adding running to my 30 x 30 would be a good idea? I know in theory it's because I want to be able to complete a duathlon or adventure race but putting this into reality reminds me of many things. One of these being how much I hate running!!
I have completed two runs now (in two days) and am having a fun time trying to walk around. In cycling you should stretch but if you don't there are limited consequences. I forgot that when you don't stretch before running all of a sudden all of your muscles refuse to do any of the basic things you take for granted, such as walking. I did stretch before my runs but I forgot about a lot of the stretches I used to do prior to running, hence the muscles that now refuse to work.
There are many reasons I hate running. With the main one being the reason I stopped in the first place, feeling like I was about to vomit. (I used to run the mile in middle school for our track team.) I know that this sick feeling is because I'm pushing myself too far to fast but I just can't seem to help it. When I start running it feels good so I go fast, which means I can only run for about 200 meters at a time before I'm completely out of breath and want to puke. Which leaves me not feeling good. Viscous cycle.
I know it would help if I actually went to the trails, instead of running along the road, like I was planning. At least that way when I started walking I'd have a view. It just doesn't seem worth it right now as I can only run less than 0.75 miles at a time (walking and running). I don't want to take the time to head over to the trails just to have to ride back home after 15 minutes. I'm also scared to push myself too hard too soon especially after feeling the pain my calves are in today.
So I suppose I'll just have to grin and bare it till I get into a routine where hopefully the hate smolders into something less. Until then I will continue to swear at myself for putting such a stupid thing on my list.
Why would I ever think adding running to my 30 x 30 would be a good idea? I know in theory it's because I want to be able to complete a duathlon or adventure race but putting this into reality reminds me of many things. One of these being how much I hate running!!
I have completed two runs now (in two days) and am having a fun time trying to walk around. In cycling you should stretch but if you don't there are limited consequences. I forgot that when you don't stretch before running all of a sudden all of your muscles refuse to do any of the basic things you take for granted, such as walking. I did stretch before my runs but I forgot about a lot of the stretches I used to do prior to running, hence the muscles that now refuse to work.
There are many reasons I hate running. With the main one being the reason I stopped in the first place, feeling like I was about to vomit. (I used to run the mile in middle school for our track team.) I know that this sick feeling is because I'm pushing myself too far to fast but I just can't seem to help it. When I start running it feels good so I go fast, which means I can only run for about 200 meters at a time before I'm completely out of breath and want to puke. Which leaves me not feeling good. Viscous cycle.
I know it would help if I actually went to the trails, instead of running along the road, like I was planning. At least that way when I started walking I'd have a view. It just doesn't seem worth it right now as I can only run less than 0.75 miles at a time (walking and running). I don't want to take the time to head over to the trails just to have to ride back home after 15 minutes. I'm also scared to push myself too hard too soon especially after feeling the pain my calves are in today.
So I suppose I'll just have to grin and bare it till I get into a routine where hopefully the hate smolders into something less. Until then I will continue to swear at myself for putting such a stupid thing on my list.
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Winter Whack III
1 & 2 June 2012
So I've been pretty low key for the last 6+ weeks as my arm was healing in cast. I really forget how mellow and down I get when I have an injury that results in me being off the bike.
But that has all changed now! I am back to being Carissa and a big help in that was Winter Whack III, a bike polo tournament. It happened that I got my cast off the day prior to the start of the festivities so I was pretty pumped. Not that I could play but that I could do little things and not have that annoying thing on.
Went out on Friday to watch the knife fights which Andy ended up winning with a great shot through both bottom brackets.
Had a few hours sleep prior to heading back to the courts to listen to the pre-event briefing, that even had a perfectly timed earthquake to coincide with the safety portion. I'd volunteered to help with the event as I couldn't play...as one of the players said I was "camp mom". Not sure that camp mom's are suppose to drink beer (had a keg of Three Boys and Andy's home brew on the sidelines) though.
Then the day of polo started. It was great to be around like minded bike people. Made some new friends and got to know others a bit better. Really was a great day and we lucked out with the weather being really nice.
Two days after this event Christchurch got a nice dumping of snow. I'm glad I wasn't on the sidelines in a half foot of snow! Much more pleasant to be warm.
So I've been pretty low key for the last 6+ weeks as my arm was healing in cast. I really forget how mellow and down I get when I have an injury that results in me being off the bike.
But that has all changed now! I am back to being Carissa and a big help in that was Winter Whack III, a bike polo tournament. It happened that I got my cast off the day prior to the start of the festivities so I was pretty pumped. Not that I could play but that I could do little things and not have that annoying thing on.
Went out on Friday to watch the knife fights which Andy ended up winning with a great shot through both bottom brackets.
Had a few hours sleep prior to heading back to the courts to listen to the pre-event briefing, that even had a perfectly timed earthquake to coincide with the safety portion. I'd volunteered to help with the event as I couldn't play...as one of the players said I was "camp mom". Not sure that camp mom's are suppose to drink beer (had a keg of Three Boys and Andy's home brew on the sidelines) though.
Then the day of polo started. It was great to be around like minded bike people. Made some new friends and got to know others a bit better. Really was a great day and we lucked out with the weather being really nice.
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| Lopo Libre |
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| Rob from Samurai Polo Cats |
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| The view from the courts at dusk |
Two days after this event Christchurch got a nice dumping of snow. I'm glad I wasn't on the sidelines in a half foot of snow! Much more pleasant to be warm.
Thursday, May 24, 2012
30 by 30
Pretty self explanatory. Need to cross everything off by my birthday next year. Wish me luck.
Here is the final list. Half way through the year I changed my view on what was important and as such didn't make it through my list. On the other hand I did a few things not on the list that I think are more important. Also, I originally dismissed how difficult the transition to making a home in a new country is (versus visiting/travelling).
Here is the final list. Half way through the year I changed my view on what was important and as such didn't make it through my list. On the other hand I did a few things not on the list that I think are more important. Also, I originally dismissed how difficult the transition to making a home in a new country is (versus visiting/travelling).
Get an engineering job in NZOkay it's not technically engineering but in a related fieldTake a dance class - Update: Took a Ceroc course, need to do anotherRun at least 5 km at one timeEnter a duathlon or long distance eventTotally cheated here...entered the event but didn't goGo to a rugby gameCompleted 19/5- Have a century day (100 mile bike ride)
Learn to drive a manual car( I drove Darryl's type 3 VW car 10 km...calling that a win)Write down one thing I'm grateful for a day- Floss weekly - was really good for 4 months then not so good
- Make a home brew
Learn how to make a good latteStill working on this, but it's drinkable- Learn basics in spanish -nope try again later
Make a dress -Update: 2013 finished one dress and 90% down with two additional onesComplete a knitting project other than a scarf (or other rectangle or square)- made some mustache things- Build a bike up from a frame - mabel is at the painters...this will happen shortly
- Try sailing - not gonna make it....will keep it on to do list
Try rock climbing outside- (Update: I did do this in 2013!!)Make 3 different types of cheese- (Update: 2013 Made mozzarella, ricotta, and creme fraiche)Start pilates- (Update: 2013 completed. Need to sign up for more!)Write a short storyVolunteer at least 12 hr for a good causeLearn to cook one new thing a month- Collect some sort of shellfish direct from the ocean
Write and SEND one card/letter a monthRead 12 nonfiction bookincluding recipe, crafting, design, architecture, selfhelp, biographies- Walk/run the Tongario crossing (giving myself a by as part of the crossing is closed due to volcanic eruption, yes an excuse but valid I think)
Attend a art/music class- calling sewing art UPDATE: took a singing course- Milk a cow
- Abstain from alcohol for 30 days - My alcohol intake is about 2 drinks a week which I figured was close enough that I didn't bother
- Learn to surf -This one is the only one I'm quite annoyed at myself for not completing
Other random goals/accomplishments I didn't have on my list but completed:
1a) Left a horrible job before it left me jaded
2a) Did 800 km detour on a roadtrip that resulted in an unforgettable weekend
3a) Set up a home in a new country
4a) Acknowledge I have feelings and trying to use them productively
5a) Received residency in a new country
6a) started playing bike polo
7a) Walked through a stream that was also a cave
8a) cycled the otago rail trail
9a) survived a second broken arm
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Chiang Mai
After breakfast and a couple of coffees I conceded I needed to leave Barrie and Sunnie's and than I continued on my way. Though I was told about a route following the river by the Canadian couple I wasn't in the mood to meander and enjoy. Was ready to get to the city and get me a massage. Part of this had to do with the fact that Barrie and I had stayed up late drinking beer and my head was a little fuzzy this morning.
So I followed the busy highway into town. As I was going I thought it might have been a good idea to take the other route but too late now.
Got into town and was wandering around for a decent guesthouse when I ran into the women's only one I had heard about. It had a gated courtyard perfect for Mabel and little extras that only ladies care about so I decided to stay. Like free cookies and fruit!
Didn't do too much that day as I was tired from the ride and lack of sleep.
22 February 2012 - Chiang Mai
Today I ran a bunch of errands that needed to get done. I went out to the train station and got my ticket to Bangkok, had pictures printed so I can send them to Chang, got a haircut (hell yeah no more mullet), and went through my bags to get rid of stuff. Since I was so productive I thought I earned a massage!
Was going to go back out but ended up chatting with my dorm mate for the rest of the evening.
23 February 2012 - Chiang Mai
My dorm mate (Oksana) had done a cooking class that she really enjoyed so I signed up for the same on. It was really good as the instructor was funny and lively. Plus there were only 7 of us so we all started chatting.
After spending all day slaving over the kitchen I decided to get a 2 hour massage. I've decided to take full advantage of my last days in Thailand and inexpensive massages. After I was all relaxed I went to the little street market and ate prior to coming back to chat with Oksana again.
24 February 2012 - Chiang Mai
Today was shopping day. After six months of wearing the same thing I was ready for a new outfit and needed a swimsuit for Australia. There are so many cute dresses everywhere and most are under $10. So I bought three dresses and a swimsuit for under $40. Prior to this I only had 2 off bike shirts and 1 pair of shorts which would not be enough for Australia where most of the time will not be cycling days. (Not that I need justification).
Of course had another massage. Then I hit a little sad spot as happens sometimes so I went to grab a beer prior to dinner and was going to come back to the guesthouse.
As it happened I couldn't resist the sign at the Irish pub for Guinness. I guess I want to get used to paying Australian prices. So I get my most delicious stout...nothing better then a smooth cold beer in hot weather and see that Rugby is on and better yet in about an hour ice hockey will be playing. And there I sat no longer the least bit sad as I got to watch two of my favorite sports in a cute dress, with a new haircut being left totally to myself. Yes, this was good.
The funny thing was that Vancouver was playing. The last time I watched hockey was the Stanley cup last year where Vancouver played horribly.
Luckily the game was a good one and I enjoyed it until the third period when a Canadian sat down next to me. We started chatting and I ended up not seeing the rest of the game but he was quite interesting and had just gotten into Thailand a couple of weeks before. Had one of those great life discussions and overall good time. You guessed it another retired man. The longer I travel the more excited I get to grow old. Not only will I have the adventurous spirit but the wisdom to go along with it.
A really perfect end to an overall great day. Also, helped me remember not to sweat the small stuff as life is pretty grand.
As a cycle tourist there isn't much to do in Chiang Mai as it turns out most people come to the city to head to the remote areas I was just in. So I do wish I would have stayed another day or two out in the country but I met some great people.
So I followed the busy highway into town. As I was going I thought it might have been a good idea to take the other route but too late now.
Got into town and was wandering around for a decent guesthouse when I ran into the women's only one I had heard about. It had a gated courtyard perfect for Mabel and little extras that only ladies care about so I decided to stay. Like free cookies and fruit!
Didn't do too much that day as I was tired from the ride and lack of sleep.
22 February 2012 - Chiang Mai
Today I ran a bunch of errands that needed to get done. I went out to the train station and got my ticket to Bangkok, had pictures printed so I can send them to Chang, got a haircut (hell yeah no more mullet), and went through my bags to get rid of stuff. Since I was so productive I thought I earned a massage!
Was going to go back out but ended up chatting with my dorm mate for the rest of the evening.
23 February 2012 - Chiang Mai
My dorm mate (Oksana) had done a cooking class that she really enjoyed so I signed up for the same on. It was really good as the instructor was funny and lively. Plus there were only 7 of us so we all started chatting.
After spending all day slaving over the kitchen I decided to get a 2 hour massage. I've decided to take full advantage of my last days in Thailand and inexpensive massages. After I was all relaxed I went to the little street market and ate prior to coming back to chat with Oksana again.
24 February 2012 - Chiang Mai
Today was shopping day. After six months of wearing the same thing I was ready for a new outfit and needed a swimsuit for Australia. There are so many cute dresses everywhere and most are under $10. So I bought three dresses and a swimsuit for under $40. Prior to this I only had 2 off bike shirts and 1 pair of shorts which would not be enough for Australia where most of the time will not be cycling days. (Not that I need justification).
Of course had another massage. Then I hit a little sad spot as happens sometimes so I went to grab a beer prior to dinner and was going to come back to the guesthouse.
As it happened I couldn't resist the sign at the Irish pub for Guinness. I guess I want to get used to paying Australian prices. So I get my most delicious stout...nothing better then a smooth cold beer in hot weather and see that Rugby is on and better yet in about an hour ice hockey will be playing. And there I sat no longer the least bit sad as I got to watch two of my favorite sports in a cute dress, with a new haircut being left totally to myself. Yes, this was good.
The funny thing was that Vancouver was playing. The last time I watched hockey was the Stanley cup last year where Vancouver played horribly.
Luckily the game was a good one and I enjoyed it until the third period when a Canadian sat down next to me. We started chatting and I ended up not seeing the rest of the game but he was quite interesting and had just gotten into Thailand a couple of weeks before. Had one of those great life discussions and overall good time. You guessed it another retired man. The longer I travel the more excited I get to grow old. Not only will I have the adventurous spirit but the wisdom to go along with it.
A really perfect end to an overall great day. Also, helped me remember not to sweat the small stuff as life is pretty grand.
As a cycle tourist there isn't much to do in Chiang Mai as it turns out most people come to the city to head to the remote areas I was just in. So I do wish I would have stayed another day or two out in the country but I met some great people.
Fremantle
7 March 2012 – Rottnest
Took the ferry from Hillary's to Rottnest with Dane. When had to share the ferry with a full boat of school children. What a noisy boat. Expecially because we were in the front and the trip was a bumpy one.
Dane wasn't feeling the best so it was funny to hear his little statements at particularly annoy kids.
When we got to the island Dane got us a campsite as I became a sherpa. I had strapped Dane's bag with the tent and his stuff on top of my rack and had my backpack on along with my purse. While Dane was riding unencumbered. He soon found how nice bike racks were...especially if they aren't on your bike.
We quickly set up the tent as we only had a few hours of sunlight left. The wind was really blowing so we left hoping our tent would be there when we returned.
As Dane wasn't feeling the best we went a short way around the coast and found a beach to swim in prior to heading back and picking up food. We picked up a great selection of picnic food to have on the beach.
We stopped by the campsite on the way to discover that the tent was still there though was looking quite sickly. We tried to make a couple of adjustments only to discover that one of the poles had snapped. As it was there was still room for our heads without risk of suffocation so we left it to go to the beach and see the sunset.
This was one of the best dinners/nights I've had in a long time as we sat on the steps to the lighthouse watching the sunset, eating good food, in great company, and drinking almost tequila sunrises. As the night progressed the near full moon lit up the beach and we had a great view of the planets and then stars coming out.
Dane had just bought a SLR camera and we sat playing around with it. Making both of us appear as ghosts without bodies.
After going back to the campsite to reveal that our tent had not become worse and fighting off the kangaroo rats that persisted on trying to attack me (or not). We settled into our rundown accommodations for a lovely nights sleep.
8 March 2012 – Rottnest to Fremantle
Went with Dane to his ferry as he had to get back for work and then headed out around the island. It was another lovely day and I had until 4:00 to explore. I would cycle a bit and then stop off for a swim in one of the bays.
I made it all the way to the west end of the island and headed back towards town. Unfortunatly I forgot to hire a snorkel set so I did get any snorkeling in. As I neared the area that we had cycled the day before I headed inland to the beautiful but slightly aromatic Pink Lake.
Then made my way back to town for a late lunch
The Sail and Anchor had choices upon choices of delicious beer. Though they didn't have a sour on tap so ya know. I did however get a chili dry dock (chili dry hopped) and an American IPA. I love AIPA's when I'm not in the country because they rarely use cascade hops which I'm still on the fence about.
After sitting reading my book I looked around at the posters decorating the walls and recognized a fair amount but had a couple surprised. Such as Rainer Brewery....the only beers I've had of theirs are similar to PBR the midwestern classic but actually in Seattle they will have PBR on tap prior to Rainer. Crazy town. After having a laugh on that note I decided to grab some beers and head back to the hostel. Luckily for me (sarcasm) there are quite a few longtermers so I don't want to deal with breaking into the realm at this moment in time. Really should've stayed around instead of going out for drinks by myself but I had fun that I can't really translate to other people. Not too many people are satisfied by looking out a window at the bikes that go by, reading a book and drinking good beer.
So in the last week I've noticed that I have a couple of serious problems. One is my bike obsession (really I wouldn't call it obsessive) and my beer obsession (same statement as before).
Perth
1 March 2012
Heading from my guesthouse in Bangkok to the Airport Rail link I missed my turn and ended up on a interstate for a short section before I could exit and try for the correct street.
Arriving at the station I was told that my bike could not be taken on the train. LAME. So I dumped out my backpack and started disassembling my bicycle. This is always the part that makes me want to punch Asians. Now that I am irritated and busy working they sit there and just watch me for 15 minutes. This seems to always occur I know it's just that they are curious but at the time I just want to be left alone. Nothing to see here...keep going. Needless to say I was done with Asia and wanted to get back to the western world.
I had a great time in the parts of Asia I saw but unlike most places I've been I don't have the overwhelming urge to return to them. I want to make it to all the countries I missed but don't feel the need to revisit the ones I explored unless I'm meeting friends there (hint hint people).
Once Mabel was shoved into her bag I took the lift to the train and made my way to the airport. The plane rides went smoothly and before I knew it I was being greeted in Perth by a sleepy Dane and his father.
Off we headed to the suburbs of Perth where I would have the great pleasure of staying for the next few days.
2 March 2012 - Perth
Today I got up and enjoyed a nice cup of tea with milk. Then I sat outside and went online where the near silence was a surprise! Didn't realize how much I missed silence until then.
But the thing I was excited for in getting to Australia did not let me down! For the first time in almost 4 months I was CLEAN!! No layer of grime even though I just got out of the shower. No nasty black boogers. No breathing in thick smog. It was lovely.
I put together Mabel with only a small issue of needing to place the rear derailleur cable into it's stay. After some manipulating and a little elbow grease she came right and it was smooth sailing from there.
Then met the rest of the family and had a nice friday night of watching a movie prior to heading to bed.
3 March 2012 - Perth
Got up and went into work with Dane as he had a short shift at the aquarium. It was fun to wander around and of course touch the animals in the touch pool. I touched a shark! Sometimes I wonder if I get more excited then the kids.
After Dane was done with work we went for a swim and jumped off the jetty. It seems that this is the base of our friendship since we did the same in Croatia.
Dane's cousin had her engagement party that night so I got to go to his family gathering. It was fun to go to someone's family outing where I had no invested interest. Good times were had.
4 March 2012 - Perth
Today I finally made it into the city. I found out that the Perth bike polo practiced on Sunday's so I went in to meet up with some (hopefully) like minded people. Of course I was not disappointed and the group was great.
The funny thing was there was a girl in a dress there and they said "She's great, can't you tell". I believed them but soon realized that because she was wearing a dress I was to assume she didn't ride bikes....hmm...haven't met my friends...and kinda wish I would've work the dress I was going to.
Anyway, the guys were great and let me play a few games while giving me tips. I'm quite timid and need to use my brake A LOT more but I can see why so many people love the game. Plus I really need to improve my bike skills so when I find a home I will for sure be building up a polo bike.
Talking about building up a polo bike, one of the guys just put a White Industry chrome crankset on his. WHAT?!? Why put something so nice on? Still don't get that...or the Ti brakes that were on the bike I was using but each to their own on bike builds.
And this last paragraph was when I realized I truly truly have a bike problem!
5 March 2012 - Woodvale (Perth)
Today Dane was at Uni and it happened to be horribly hot so I changed my plans from biking the 20 km into town to heading to the local beach. It was a nice leisurely bike ride and I soon found the bike path that joined multiple beaches together. I went and spent a bit of time in the water and reading prior to being frightened of burning and riding back home.
6 March 2012 - Perth
Today I went into Perth in the morning with Dane where we had a coffee prior to him heading to class. I then spent the day exploring the city (as polo day was mostly just polo). Needless to say I spent most of the day in Kings Park overlooking the city and enjoying multiple different locations.
Once I got hungry I headed around town to find a cute little place and explore. After food I headed along the river until I happened across another park like area and sat in the shade next to the river. Soon a dolphin was seen and I pretty much thought it was an awesome day.
But we weren't finished yet Dane and I met up for a Kangaroo burger (yep you can eat the national symbol). Then headed out to Fremantle to see the city and stop at the raved about Little Creatures. Had a good hoppy beer but don't know what it was called as I first tried the "Bright Ale" (golden ale) and didn't like it so the bartender gave me this one.
We then headed to a different bar where one of Dane's best friends was working and I had an IPA and and Imperial Stout by Moo Brewery. Both were very good.
Heading from my guesthouse in Bangkok to the Airport Rail link I missed my turn and ended up on a interstate for a short section before I could exit and try for the correct street.
Arriving at the station I was told that my bike could not be taken on the train. LAME. So I dumped out my backpack and started disassembling my bicycle. This is always the part that makes me want to punch Asians. Now that I am irritated and busy working they sit there and just watch me for 15 minutes. This seems to always occur I know it's just that they are curious but at the time I just want to be left alone. Nothing to see here...keep going. Needless to say I was done with Asia and wanted to get back to the western world.
I had a great time in the parts of Asia I saw but unlike most places I've been I don't have the overwhelming urge to return to them. I want to make it to all the countries I missed but don't feel the need to revisit the ones I explored unless I'm meeting friends there (hint hint people).
Once Mabel was shoved into her bag I took the lift to the train and made my way to the airport. The plane rides went smoothly and before I knew it I was being greeted in Perth by a sleepy Dane and his father.
Off we headed to the suburbs of Perth where I would have the great pleasure of staying for the next few days.
2 March 2012 - Perth
Today I got up and enjoyed a nice cup of tea with milk. Then I sat outside and went online where the near silence was a surprise! Didn't realize how much I missed silence until then.
But the thing I was excited for in getting to Australia did not let me down! For the first time in almost 4 months I was CLEAN!! No layer of grime even though I just got out of the shower. No nasty black boogers. No breathing in thick smog. It was lovely.
I put together Mabel with only a small issue of needing to place the rear derailleur cable into it's stay. After some manipulating and a little elbow grease she came right and it was smooth sailing from there.
Then met the rest of the family and had a nice friday night of watching a movie prior to heading to bed.
3 March 2012 - Perth
Got up and went into work with Dane as he had a short shift at the aquarium. It was fun to wander around and of course touch the animals in the touch pool. I touched a shark! Sometimes I wonder if I get more excited then the kids.
After Dane was done with work we went for a swim and jumped off the jetty. It seems that this is the base of our friendship since we did the same in Croatia.
Dane's cousin had her engagement party that night so I got to go to his family gathering. It was fun to go to someone's family outing where I had no invested interest. Good times were had.
4 March 2012 - Perth
Today I finally made it into the city. I found out that the Perth bike polo practiced on Sunday's so I went in to meet up with some (hopefully) like minded people. Of course I was not disappointed and the group was great.
The funny thing was there was a girl in a dress there and they said "She's great, can't you tell". I believed them but soon realized that because she was wearing a dress I was to assume she didn't ride bikes....hmm...haven't met my friends...and kinda wish I would've work the dress I was going to.
Anyway, the guys were great and let me play a few games while giving me tips. I'm quite timid and need to use my brake A LOT more but I can see why so many people love the game. Plus I really need to improve my bike skills so when I find a home I will for sure be building up a polo bike.
Talking about building up a polo bike, one of the guys just put a White Industry chrome crankset on his. WHAT?!? Why put something so nice on? Still don't get that...or the Ti brakes that were on the bike I was using but each to their own on bike builds.
And this last paragraph was when I realized I truly truly have a bike problem!
5 March 2012 - Woodvale (Perth)
Today Dane was at Uni and it happened to be horribly hot so I changed my plans from biking the 20 km into town to heading to the local beach. It was a nice leisurely bike ride and I soon found the bike path that joined multiple beaches together. I went and spent a bit of time in the water and reading prior to being frightened of burning and riding back home.
6 March 2012 - Perth
Today I went into Perth in the morning with Dane where we had a coffee prior to him heading to class. I then spent the day exploring the city (as polo day was mostly just polo). Needless to say I spent most of the day in Kings Park overlooking the city and enjoying multiple different locations.
Once I got hungry I headed around town to find a cute little place and explore. After food I headed along the river until I happened across another park like area and sat in the shade next to the river. Soon a dolphin was seen and I pretty much thought it was an awesome day.
But we weren't finished yet Dane and I met up for a Kangaroo burger (yep you can eat the national symbol). Then headed out to Fremantle to see the city and stop at the raved about Little Creatures. Had a good hoppy beer but don't know what it was called as I first tried the "Bright Ale" (golden ale) and didn't like it so the bartender gave me this one.
We then headed to a different bar where one of Dane's best friends was working and I had an IPA and and Imperial Stout by Moo Brewery. Both were very good.
addiction
Sometimes there is a slow realization
of things down in my gut. They seem to boil up, bursting as they
reach air with whispers of these feelings.
POP..”B”....POP...”soaring”...POP...”happy”. As the
realization of what this actually means starts to come into focus
that sinking feeling washes over me again.
I am addicted. Totally unable to
control myself, need to calm the nerves....just a little won't hurt,
will it?Yes, with this broken arm I finally have to admit my
debilitating addiction to cycling. I always thought I could stop if
I wanted to but I now know that it is just not the case. I am
getting irritable as none other and am really at the point where I
don't want to look at pretty bikes as it makes me angry (stupid
chrome bike with full campy groupset..NO you are NOT pretty...argh
no good bike).
To put a rainbow over this situation I
get to talk to the specialist this week about the chances of
surgery...which since I'm now talking with him instead of the normal
doctor and had a second catscan I'm thinking the news does not
involve bunnies hopping in circles singing to me joyously.
But back to the trouble at hand. After
the multiple accidents you would of thought I would have fessed up to
this addiction by now. Or maybe when I started collecting a herd of
bicycles? Luckily I was always surrounded by someone more thoroughly
engulfed in this devil called cycling (“well So and So has fifteen
bikes so I must not have a problem!”). Yes it is a slippery slope
that I slid down and now that I am banned for an unallotted amount of
time I'm understanding how much my life has become about bikes. Now, just maybe part of this epiphany is also because I've spent 16 of the
last 22 months cycle touring (okay really 14 months cause of the
other broken arm).
HOLY CRAP until I typed that I really I
forgot it was so much time.
Anyway, the thing with cycle touring is
that it gets under your skin in so many ways. I think that it will
be a long time until I understand all the ways it's helped me grow as
a person. The places I've been, the emotions I dealt with, the
challenges I conquered, all of it is so amazing. It's also why even
though some days I go to bed early and put on an awesome impression
of a recluse the next day I force myself to get out of bed and
continue on. It's just one more pedal stroke up the long gradual
climb. I know that a broken arm is nothing compared to what a lot of
people I know are dealing with and once again I have to think about
how lucky I am. How much worse all of my falls could've been and
coming out with a couple of broken arms is by no means fun (sometimes
funny) I still know it's a small price to pay for all the experiences
I've gained.
So I suppose there are a lot worse
addictions to have.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
The Aussie, the American, the bike formally known as (BFKA) Neutrino, the bike known as Mabel Syrup, and the Skyline
March 10 - 25th 2012
Canberra
So I highjacked my friend Mick's roadtrip/biking adventure. Okay maybe he invited me but it's more fun for me to imagine holding him (or more liking BFKA Neutrino) hostage until he caved. That's much more exciting than the true events so I'll stick with the hostage situation.
Anyway I said goodbye to Perth and flew over to Canberra. The little visited capital city. Mick's cousin is going to Uni there and as such had a Uni open house policy. The ladies were really friendly though they weren't around too much with school and all.
Mick was able to borrow a bike for me to use so the next day we went out to do some mountain biking. He was quite a trooper as I am beyond sucky and he would patiently wait for me to get through a run. It always amazes me how quickly I get tired while MTBing but I think part of it is that I tense every muscle in my body the whole time which causes early fatigue.
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| Mick sniper attacked me at the end of a run |
After the morning outing we made the fatal mistake of eating lunch and getting comfortable so we didn't end up going and seeing the city (or the symphony playing Hollywood Hits) that night and instead went to bed early as we had an 8:00 am MTB date. The friend who lent the bike was keen to come out with us and wanted to head out early. I did however get Mabel back together so the afternoon wasn't competely unproductive.
Dave met us at the house and we headed on the short ride to the park. All other MTB areas around the City were closed due to the crazy amount of rain that had fallen. Both the guys were again really great to ride with and Dave made sure to wait at all the junctions so I didn't get lost. I know the guys probably would've gone out for longer and been faster had I not been trailing along so I really appreciated them taking it down to my level.
After the MTBing we made a temporary bike shop in the driveway and changed out the seals of Dave's front shock. We said bye to Dave and had a quick lunch prior to heading out to explore the city. We went around the west side of the lake and then stopped for a half dinner prior to heading back home for some more food and beers. After a refuel and remembering to grab a couple of beers we went to explore the east side of the lake. Turns out the reason there wasn't much bike/ped traffic on that side was cause a section of the track was washed out. So we headed back and just sat down to drink our beer when a fireworks show started on the other side of the lake. Pretty awesome timing on our part!
With most of the MTBing tracks closed we decided to head out the following day.
To Sydney and Sydney -
We headed towards Sydney and this was officially my first view of the Australian countryside. It was pretty, starting with rolling hills and then coming into eucalyptus forests.
Soon we were back at the coast. Camp tonight was suppose to be in a State Forest that ended up being a National Park. After a very minor getting stuck episode we headed back to the first campsite we found and put up camp. The night was great as we had a great view of the stars and mostly no wind.
The next day we made it to Sydney and Mick's grandmothers house. She is 95 and quite spry! Mick's uncle was also there so we all chatted.
The next day Mick went MTBing. Finally able to quench his MTB itch without having to be patient with me tagging along. I headed out on Mabel to explore the city. As I inefficiently found my way across the Harbour bridge I ran into a bike shop which gave me a map of the city and some suggestions of must sees.
I spent all day wandering through the city at a very leisurely pace. It was so much fun to be riding in a city again...playing with traffic! I love how fun it is to be moving with city traffic and watching out for all the obstacles...people, doors, cars, debris. So fun!
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| Some building in Sydney |
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| because Mabel wants memories of the trip too! |
As the afternoon was coming I decided to meander back to Mosman so I didn't have to find my way in the dark.
The following day was rainy and gloomy so a perfect day to catch up online and give the parents a ring. Rainy days can be fun when you aren't camping.
On the Road – Sydney to the Gold Coast
The weather improved the next day so we decided to continue on our way. Mick chose an amazing place to camp! But prior to that we went on a koala hunt at the nearby koala reserve...needless to say we did not spot a koala. Though we did see a kookaburra and a pelican hanging out on a street lamp.
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| closest koala I saw |
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| Mick taking a break from the koala hunt |
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| Pelican just hanging |
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| Mick drinking a beer enjoying the view |
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| The view |
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| Just because your camping doesn't mean you can't be gourmet |
After we finished our little jaunt through the woods we drove to Myall Lakes National Park. The camping location was great as it was right next a lake and we could hear the ocean on the otherside. The best of both worlds. After setting up camp we went to sit on a log and enjoy the sunset. Another clear night allowed for great stargazing and a few shooting stars were spotted.
The next day we stopped by Dark Point to go for a swim at the beach prior to heading on for the day. While no swimming was possible due to the roughwaters it was great to climb up what seemed to be a small sand dune to find ourselves with a stretch of 300 or more meters of dunes prior to the beach. It was awesome. As I was behind Mick as I came over the dune he looked back with what I can only imagine was the same eye to eye grin that I had on my face. Such an unexpected brilliant start to the day.
As we left the dunes it started to sprinkle which would happen off and on all day. As we headed inland to our next destination it became more consistent. We kept up hope that the rain would not hold has we headed onto the gravel road in Barrington Tops National Park. Needless to say we didn't see much as we climbed. What little we could see seemed to be quite impressive. After discussion we still believed that the rain would not get worse and as such we should camp. Since the fly wasn't waterproofed we first set up a tarp in the windy drizzle. Then we proceeded to put up the tent. Of course it was nice and rocky requiring all stakes to be pounded into the ground.
After camp was nicely set up we retreated to the car to play games on Mick's iphone. Then we made dinner...luckily we did not have to cook it on the campstove. By the time dinner was finished water was creeping dangerously close to the tent...or should I say castle surrounded by a moat?! Another discussion, and it was determined to sleep in the car. We set up a nice entertainment system and watched a few MTB videos prior to heading to a dry sleep.
Unfortunately the rain hadn't cleared by the morning and we took down the unused tent in it. Heading through another day of off and on rain left both Mick and I cranky. Each time it appeared that the rain was finally gone it would come back stronger just to completely squash all hope of a dry day. We took the coast road which did give a few great dry views of the coast. We begrudgingly headed toward our final destination and the inevitable wet tent and wet set up. We were so sure of this that neither one of us mentioned picking up beers.
As we turned onto the minor road to the campsite the sun started peeking out of the clouds and even gave the forest an amazing golden appearance. We set the tent up to dry and headed to the beach. It was completely abandoned accept for us. Plus the waves were just rough enough to be lots of fun without pounding us. We dried off and were both in a better mood. Actually in complete shock of how nice it was! We then headed for a short ride to see if we could get good photos of the trees but it appeared we missed our moment. Still got a couple but missed the really good light.
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| The rig |
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| my beach |
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| trees |
The next day the sky looked menacing and we were doubtful that it would be a good day. After heading along the coast we started to head inland to the next Park and the sky slowly started to clear. We got into camp and could actually sit around outside for awhile. We made our dinner and were soon visited by possums who were quite cheeky and one even touched Mick before it burned itself on the mosquito coil we had going.
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| This was viewable for exactly 5 minutes...perfect timing yet again |
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| Cheeky guy just burnt himself |
Of course all thing have to come to an end and it started to sprinkle just as we were going to go for a night walk to see night creatures.
The next day we headed for the hike that Mick had planned to do. Since the last bit to the peak was a granite face which was slippery due to the rain I turned back prior to the summit. No point in tempting fate.
As I went on the easy flat hike I saw the worlds slowest race when two slugs were following each other. Then got to see a bearded dragon and these other lizards that scooted across water. The granite landscape was amazing and reminded me of the stone giants from "The Never Ending story"
Once we were both back from our hikes we decided to go for a little bike ride. We ran into a couple who told us we wouldn't be able to cycle up the hill to the hike...we were optimistic that we could do it. To the couples credit it would've been a hard climb for someone not use to hills especially as it got quite steep in the middle. I got a little out of breath but slowly and steadily made my way up. Mick of course didn't even seem to realize there was an incline as he is one of those people that LOVES hills (weirdo).
We then had to come up with a story to tell the couple to not feel bad about themselves. As it turns out the wife had just learned to ride a bike for the first time in her life 3 months before and I would have been amazed had she been able to conquer that hill. I did mention to them that both of us also cycle across countries to hopefully not discourage them...plus I'm not too proud that I push my bike up hills sometimes still.
As I went on the easy flat hike I saw the worlds slowest race when two slugs were following each other. Then got to see a bearded dragon and these other lizards that scooted across water. The granite landscape was amazing and reminded me of the stone giants from "The Never Ending story"
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| slug race! |
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| giant's doorway |
Once we were both back from our hikes we decided to go for a little bike ride. We ran into a couple who told us we wouldn't be able to cycle up the hill to the hike...we were optimistic that we could do it. To the couples credit it would've been a hard climb for someone not use to hills especially as it got quite steep in the middle. I got a little out of breath but slowly and steadily made my way up. Mick of course didn't even seem to realize there was an incline as he is one of those people that LOVES hills (weirdo).
We then had to come up with a story to tell the couple to not feel bad about themselves. As it turns out the wife had just learned to ride a bike for the first time in her life 3 months before and I would have been amazed had she been able to conquer that hill. I did mention to them that both of us also cycle across countries to hopefully not discourage them...plus I'm not too proud that I push my bike up hills sometimes still.
The next day we headed out to camp near a new mtb park that came about due to a new dam being built. As we started setting up camp we soon made a friend...a long slithery poisonous (but not too poisonous) friend. Let's just say I'm not thrilled about poisonous snakes..or anything poisonous other than a platypus really.
And it was having a grand old time climbing up and down the tent. Now this was annoying but what was really bugging me was how we were going to know if we had a snake surprise when we tried to get into the tent later. Mick on the other hand was enjoying this immensely...partially I'm sure because I would scurry the other way to keep a maximum distance between me and the snake (could this one strike only a third of it's body length or the full length?). Of course as I left the excitement to use the bathroom it started heading towards the toilet block and to my great horror there was a perfect snake sized gap at the bottom to ensure air circulation!
Anyway after awhile the snake got bored of tormenting me and headed towards supper. Mick needed to do some bike maintenance and I figured I should do some myself. We got done and went for a short ride mostly to check out which runs were closed due to rain and if Mabel could pretend she was a mtb.
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| making friends my mom warned me about |
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| Mick doing maintenance |
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| purdy |
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| hanging out in a tree |
The next day Mick went off on the real runs as I meandered through the easy tracks with Mabel. She actually did a lot better than I thought She was going to.
Once we had lunch we packed up the tent and headed to the Gold Coast where I would be staying with Verin. Mick and I said our goodbyes outside Verin's apt and then Verin and I went to catch up. It was quite funny to realize how much I had missed female friends! I had been surrounded almost entirely by men for the last six months and it was so nice to talk with a lady!!
I really only had three times in my travels where I had female travel companions and that was with my Aunt in Bangkok, Laos, and then Chiang Mai. I always have more male friends partly due to my profession, growing up with brothers, and being into bikes but this trip made me cherish the lady friends that I have and that I made! It was so nice when I was talking about something that upset me and Verin just got up and said "This is a chocolate conversation" and came back with Tim Tams. Those are the small things that men wouldn't understand.
It was really great to catch up with her and a slight shock that she had cut off her dreads but she looked cute as ever in her rotating hat collection.
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